I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
