dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My ATM looks so different sober.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
