Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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