Me too!
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize