He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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