This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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