I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
