I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
