i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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