plz talk dirty to me
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
