im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
