I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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