i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
