Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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