I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Fuck appropriateness.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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