Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
