Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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