I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
