Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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