so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He better not be in your backpack
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
