How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
