I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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