Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
