Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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