Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
