I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
