Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
