I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
