His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
