whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
