Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
