is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize