You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
