Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
