Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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