Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
