i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
