what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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