You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
