its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
