girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
