it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
