hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
