My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
