Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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