2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
