Capitaan dildo arrescate!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
