wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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