he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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