dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize