Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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