Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
