dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
