Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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