So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
