I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
