I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
