sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
