wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
