whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just threw up on my dentist
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
