i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
