are you still at the devil's house?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
