why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize