The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
