belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
