It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
no you cant smoke seaweed
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
