spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
