i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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