I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Randomize
