Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
