is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize