ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
