I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He better not be in your backpack
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
